At first you’re feeling on top of the world. You’ve decided to start a family and can’t wait to see those two pink lines you’ve always dreamed of. You think about how you’ll tell your husband, family and friends, and you start planning your future as a family of three.
But as the months continue to pass, the excitement begins to fade, and fear begins to take its place. You wonder why you’re not pregnant. You do some research online and try to figure out what you’re doing wrong.
You finally visit your doctor for answers and quickly learn that the private moments between you and your spouse are now in the hands of doctors, nurses, and complete strangers. The fertility doctor wants to test your husband, the nurse needs to check your levels, the doctor wants you back for ultrasounds, and the insurance company will only cover so much.
You start to wonder how you got here, what the right fertility treatment is and how to take the next step. And with all the questions circling your head, you really start to panic.
The truth is: infertility is scary, will make you question things you never thought to question, and will attack you where you’re most vulnerable. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about being a mom or how wonderful of a father my husband would be, but I have to rely on my faith in knowing God’s plan is ultimately best. It’s hard to trust God when you don’t like what He’s allowing you to go through, and all you can do is walk through life blindly. But I think that’s the ultimate lesson in faith and when we can really grow the most.
Trusting God regardless of the outcome is one thing life has taught me. I can plan and plan, but in the end His plan is always much better than my own. I’ve seen how He can use each trial as a way of growing my relationship with Him. He’s used them to reach others and to prepare me for His greater plan. So I know when I’m feeling overwhelmed that He is ultimately in control, and whenever I’m not sure which step to take then I should always wait on Him.