The Calling of Adoption

My husband and I began exploring adoption a few years ago. We had gone through infertility treatments, and had been told the only way we would become parents was through adoption. I remember being amazed at how my once closed mind to adoption had quickly opened, and I began to imagine an exciting journey to find our child.

We began looking into international adoption, and just as we thought we felt the Lord was leading us to a certain country He quickly closed the door. We didn’t meet the country’s age requirements, and it would be another year before we could even begin the application process. We decided to wait until we were of proper age, but when that time came, we found that the process had changed, and we no longer had the peace we once felt.

We began exploring other countries, but decided to go with a domestic adoption. We had settled on a Christian adoption agency, but found it was no longer available where we lived. After researching additional agencies, we finally settled in and requested an application package. As we reviewed the information, we decided to research everything we could before moving any further, and even selected a daycare center for our future son or daughter. But at the end of it all, something still seemed to be missing.

The piece of the puzzle we couldn’t locate was God’s calling for us to adopt. Unlike every other major decision we’ve made, the peace from God just wasn’t there. We were constantly reminded of the story of Sarah and Abraham. They had longed for a child for so long, but rather than waiting for God to provide the child He had promised, they decided to take things into their own hands. We realized that if we continued through this adoption process, we would be doing it to fulfill our own desires and plans rather than listen to God’s calling for our family.

I can’t even begin to tell you how difficult it was when I realized that no matter how much I wanted to be mom, I knew I didn’t want to make it happen if it wasn’t God’s plan for me. I remember crying with my husband when we realized it would be much better for us to remain a couple than to venture off the road God was leading us down by adopting outside of His will. We had seen time and time again how He would always provide us with a great amount of peace when it came to big decisions, and no matter what His reason was, the peace of adoption simply wasn’t there.

Since making the decision not to adopt, I found myself becoming more content in living childfree. I kept myself focused on the blessings God had already given, and fell even more in love with my husband. I found myself talking to some friends that had or were going through the adoption process, and remember them saying how they had always wanted to adopt, but just assumed it would come after having their own biological child. Although I am a very big adoption supporter, I realized I had never had this calling, and these conversations helped confirm our decision not to adopt was the right choice. And surprisingly, I found myself having more peace about not adopting than I ever did about going through the adoption process.

I really think adoption is an amazing and beautiful journey. I know of some amazing families that have grown through adoption,  but have also learned firsthand it is not a quick fix or something everyone is called to do. If you find yourself considering adoption I encourage you to be patient, pray, talk with your spouse, speak with adoption agencies, and follow where the Lord leads. 

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