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Infertile Thoughts on Miscarriage

December 12, 2010

So this post may get me in some trouble, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, and have decided to share.  Let me start out by saying I have never been pregnant, and therefore never experienced a miscarriage.  So these are my thoughts as someone who has longed for a child all her life, but will never see those two pink lines, the smilely face, or the plus sign…. to tell me that I’m pregnant.

I’ve had a few friends close to me experience a miscarriage recently, and my heart aches for them.  As the holidays are here, anyone wanting to be a mom is reminded of that little one that still has not come, or been placed in her arms.  I would think for someone who has experienced a miscarriage around the holidays, this would be a very difficult time for them as well.  Pregnancy to me, is really like this long lost dream that I always thought would come true, but was never meant to be.  I had a friend early in her pregnancy (who later gave birth to a very healthy baby) tell me she was nervous about announcing her news to friends and family, and was trying not to get excited because she was afraid of a miscarriage.  She knew my history, and we’re close, so like with most people I am close with I shared my heart with her.  I told her that the life inside of her was a blessing, and whether her baby lived one day inside her body, or 100 years outside of her body she was still his/her mother no matter how long they lived.  I told her that if there is a baby to love, then it shouldn’t matter how long that baby lived, it deserved all of the love she had to give it.  I also shared my thoughts on miscarriage to hopefully help her in her fears.  The truth is, miscarriage is a terrible thing and unfortunately a very real reality for many couples.  But for me, if I were pregnant, I would tell everyone early.  Yes, there’s a very good chance of miscarriage, but God is looking after each little one in the womb, even before they’re discovered, and I would much rather have people praying for us during my pregnancy and possible miscarriage, then feel I must hide my excitement and pain.  True friends are here to support each other, so if you can’t share the greatest highs and lows with each other, then what makes your friendship any different then an acquaintance?

So for all of you that have experienced a miscarriage, please know it’s not your fault, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, and your friends and family are here to love and support you in any way we can.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. December 28, 2010 9:06 PM

    that is a very sweet entry…

  2. December 13, 2010 11:46 PM

    I’m a big fan of the “tell the world” method. Those close to me always know when I’m pregnant and when things have gone badly. Who is going to be there to support you if things take a turn for the worst if they dont know about it?

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